It's Okay to Tell People You're Not Okay
The other day, I got a text from my friend Joe. You know the typical back-and-forth:
“Hey, how are you?”
“I’m good. How about you?”
But this time, something in me didn’t want to fake it. I told him the truth:
“I’m mentally exhausted. My childhood wounds got triggered, and I cried a lot yesterday.”
That one moment of honesty cracked something open.
He replied, “Actually… I’ve been struggling too, financially and emotionally, just trying to support my family.”
And just like that, the walls came down.
I shared that I’ve also been struggling financially as I try to grow and promote my coaching business in its early days.
We both realized how often we’ve hidden behind the “I’m good” mask.
So we made a promise: no more surface-level answers. Only real, honest truth from now on.
Photo by Lynn Kintziger on Unsplash.com
Then there’s Nicole, my dear friend who’s navigating a storm of her own, recovering from hip replacement surgery, unable to work, and managing the challenges of ADHD and neurodivergence every single day.
But instead of hiding, she shared her truth.
She asked for help. She started a GoFundMe. She showed up with honesty and vulnerability, sharing her progress on Facebook.
And you know what? Her courage inspired me. Her truth gave me permission—to be more honest with myself, and with others.
It reminded me that pretending to be okay helps no one.
The more I share and the more I hear others open up, the more I realize: everyone is carrying some weight, whether they show it or not.
Someone’s moving out after a divorce in their 40s.
Someone’s feeling lost in their 50s.
Someone’s trying to keep food on the table as the only breadwinner.
Someone’s fighting for their mental health every single day.
Life isn’t always easy and that’s okay.
We don’t need to hide our struggles to protect others’ comfort.
When we share what’s real, we shine light on our own shadows.
And in doing so, we give others the courage to share their truth too.
So if you're not okay right now, I want you to know:
You’re not alone. You’re human. I’m human. We’re allowed to be honest.
Let’s create a world where we don’t have to pretend.
Share with people how you’re really feeling. Always ask for help if you need it.
Let them in. Let them see you.
Let’s hold space for one another—in the breakdowns, the breakthroughs, and all the quiet in-between.