The Power of Dating Yourself
As humans, we all long for connection. We crave intimacy—to be held, seen, and chosen. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s beautifully human.
But here’s what I’ve learned through my own journey…
I was a former love addict. For ten years, I found myself entangled in one codependent relationship after another. Not because love is wrong—but because I had abandoned the relationship with myself.
I stopped listening to my own needs.
I outsourced my worth.
I expected my ex-partners to save me—to make me happy.
I always waited for them to do things with me. And if they didn’t, I simply wouldn’t do it.
I put my life on pause until someone else decided to join me in living it. And in doing so, I forgot that the most important relationship I’d ever have is the one I have with me.
I used to believe that being single meant I was unwanted or unlovable. But when I chose to be single, on purpose, for three years before meeting my current partner, everything shifted.
The photo of Vietnamese coffee I had yesterday on a date with myself.
The first time I chose to be alone, I realized I had been homeless within myself for so long.
I remember going to a public swimming pool, afraid people were judging me for being there alone—how silly, but how real it felt. The first time I ate at a restaurant by myself, I felt awkward and lonely.
Many nights, I cried in my room, convinced that without a man, I wasn’t worthy of love.
But slowly… things began to change.
I discovered that being alone is how I come home to myself.
It became the sacred space where I learned to listen to my heart, to know my soul, and to love myself—unconditionally.
Loneliness turned into contentment.
And contentment blossomed into joy.
I felt whole. I felt free. I felt me.
Even now, in a beautiful and healthy relationship, I still prioritize my alone time, and my partner lovingly respects that.
In fact, I’m writing this after taking myself out to my favorite Vietnamese restaurant just yesterday.
Savoring slow, quiet moments with a strong cup of Vietnamese coffee, I felt alive, romantic, and in love with life.
These little rituals bring me back home to myself—Reminding me that before I’m in a relationship of two, I am already WHOLE AS ONE.
So wherever you are on your journey—single, dating, married, or healing—here are some gentle reminders for you:
Don’t abandon yourself.
Keep dating you.
Take the long walks. Try the new cafés. Sit with yourself.
Explore new hobbies. Paint. Sing. Dance.
Visit museums. Discover art. Let beauty move you.
Do the things that spark joy in your soul.
Nurture the relationship with yourself.
BECAUSE YOU’RE THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.